Becoming a Trusted Advisor
After nearly 10 years of working as a software developer, I’ve learned a lot about the value of soft skills. On my journey of self-improvement, I started reading “The Trusted Advisor”. Not only did this book help guide me to have better interactions with clients, but it also helped me realize that some of the aspects of myself I viewed as weaknesses are actually strengths.
Key Points From The Book
- A trusted advisor is someone a client turns to when faced with tough professional and personal issues, such as whether to acquire another company, how to migrate all of their infrastructure to the cloud, or handling emotional layoffs
- Becoming a trusted advisor is an empathetic and sometimes uncomfortable process
- Not every client relationship can or should be on the level of a trusted advisor
- You must first master the technical details of your craft before becoming a trusted advisor
- To be a successful trusted advisor, you should:
- Let go of your ego and focus on the client
- Truly enjoy or be interested in your client’s business and projects
- Learn to communicate effectively and authentically
- Do what is right for your client, even if it goes unrecognized
- Never, ever lie or otherwise bend the truth
I started reading this book expecting advice about how to convince your clients that you are a professional and know all the answers. To my surprise, this book is more about emotional connections and how they come into play when working in a consulting capacity. It does contain advice about how to interact with clients, but this advice can apply to any relationship. Some of the advice seems pretty obvious (such as following up with a client after a project is completed), but other tips made me realize that as emotional beings, we can’t separate how we feel from how we interact. Being a stone cold straight-to-the-point business person will not result in the best outcomes for you or your clients.
As a female software engineer, I’ve worked hard to appear emotionless in the past. Being emotional can be seen as a disadvantage in certain workspaces where always having the correct answer and favoring conformity over discussion are what get you ahead. When you’re the only female in a room, you learn quickly to wear a mask that projects confidence or else your voice may not be heard. It was only with years and years of experiences in multiple types of workspaces that I’ve come to embrace the differences that make me a valuable team member. Differences that The Trusted Advisor highlights as key qualities of a great consultant. Allowing yourself to express emotions at work is not a detriment, but will help foster stronger relationships that last longer and give you a greater sense of accomplishment in your work.
Gaining the trust of your clients and becoming a trusted advisor is hard. It requires taking risks and exposing yourself to uncomfortable conversations. As the saying goes, “Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets”. How do you gain trust? For starters, meet your deadlines or communicate if you are going to be late (before you are late), always be honest and direct, and make decisions that are what’s best for the client, not what is best for you. I had to learn some of these lessons the hard way. When I first started out as a developer, I wanted to learn every new framework that came out. However, a lot of the clients I worked for needed help with projects that had been around for a few years and were using older technology. Switching the tech stack to something new resulted in missed deadlines and lots of bugs. If I would have focused on what was best for the client and not for my own personal growth, we could have avoided a lot of the issues by sticking with the older, less risky technology.
One of the fastest ways to lose trust (and clients) is to not be honest. This includes not lying (obviously) but also not being afraid to say you don’t know something and need more time to find an answer. This can be one of the hardest things to do as a developer. But you have to realize that it’s impossible to know everything about everything. Admitting you don’t know something is not a sign of weakness. Let me repeat that. Admitting you don’t know something is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are being truthful with your clients and they will respect you more for it.
Another point that struck home with me from this book was the focus on building an authentic relationship with your clients. What does this mean exactly? Being your authentic self and having an authentic relationship means that you don’t have to wear masks or hide things about yourself because you are afraid that the other person will not like you. If your client is receptive, it is perfectly okay to get to know them as a person and not just as a project. Sharing your hobbies, favorite books, and other forms of informal chats are great ways to build rapport. Being open with how you are feeling on a particular day or being in tune with how your client is feeling (maybe they look upset or angry one day) is just another way to strengthen your bond, which will in turn, strengthen your ability to work together.
The biggest takeaway from this book is that a trusted advisor relationship works best when you collaborate with your client and communicate authentically with them. Involving your client more deeply in the solution makes them feel more connected with you and they will want to work with you in the future. Even if your client doesn’t want to be directly involved, simple check-ins and status reports can go a long way towards proving you care about keeping them informed. Becoming a trusted advisor takes a lot of work and comes with a lot of responsibility, but some of your best work can be done in these types of roles.
